Salient is an excellent design with a fresh approach for the ever-changing Web. Integrated with Gantry 5, it is infinitely customizable, incredibly powerful, and remarkably simple.


Shopping Cart

Shop Search


Safe, discreet and secure shopping with us at

Join Our Affiliate Program

We started our Affiliate Program as a way of rewarding webmasters and bloggers who send us quality traffic. Atfer all why should it be only ones that benefit from the sales. We pay out a great 10% commission on shop sales and rental bookings alike and payout monthly if your balance is £50 or over. Given the price of the F-Machine Pro and the Sybian you can see that you can quickly exceed the monthly payout limit to have a regular income.

We will even give you a welcome bonus of £5.00 that will be paid out to you when you receive your first payment.

Our business has grown on the back of word of mouth recommendations and this means that most of our traffic and customers sources are from peoples websites, blogs and forums that recommend our products and services rather than just the search engines. Having an affiliate account means that our site will track everyone that you send to us using a cookie and if they make a booking or purchase within 90 days then you get the credit for the sale and a commission on it.

So it makes sense to sign up for an affiliate account and to change all of the links to us on your site to ones using the special code that affiliates get. Then you can sit back and watch the commissions come in, it really is as simple as that.

On-Time Payouts

Getting paid is the most important issue with an affiliate program and we pay 100% guaranteed. Payments are sent monthly via PayPal.

Statistics & Reports

Our affiliate administration area covers all of your reporting needs and is simple and easy to use. Reports are generated in real time giving you accurate data.

We Keep Customers

Earn commission on shop purchases and rental booking for everyone you refer. As we often get repeat business so your commissions can repeat as well.


We have very few rules, firstly don't sign up for an affiliate account to get a "discount" on your own purchases. Secondly and this is the most important rule - don't send out any spam mail. We are totally against spam and unethical marketing tactics and if we find out that you are resorting to these tactics then we reserve the right to close your affiliate account.

So what are you waiting for - START PROMOTING

What’s the best way to clean sex toys?

Proper cleaning of sex toys is essential to avoid bacterial infection or transmission of STIs. While some STIs die once the fluid they live in dries, others (such as hepatitis and scabies) can live for weeks or months outside of the body. If you want to prevent pregnancy, it is also important to be remove sperm that may be on the sex toy before using near or in the vagina.

It’s important to keep the instructions for cleaning the sex toy and to follow them carefully. If you feel that cleaning the toy properly would be too time consuming or unrealistic for you, think about buying a different toy. The information provided below gives a general overview for cleaning different types of toys and isn’t meant to replace the manufacturer’s instructions.

For basic toy care, remove any batteries. Never submerge electrical components in water. Use a damp, soapy washcloth to clean your electric toys, preferably with anti-bacterial soap. Keep toys stored in a container or pouch (to keep them clean) and in a cool, dry place.

Cleaning non-porous materials: glass, stainless steel, hard plastic, and silicone

  • Glass: Wash glass toys with soap and water. Pyrex toys are dishwasher safe. Do not expose glass to extreme temperatures.
  • Stainless Steel: If attached to an electrical device, use warm soapy water, being careful not to submerge any electrical components. If there are no electrical components you have 3 options: Boil or soak in a bleach-water solution (50:50 ratio) for 10 minutes, or place it in the dishwasher.
  • Hard Plastic: Clean with anti-bacterial soap and water. Do not boil.
  • Silicone: You can choose from 3 options to clean a silicone toy. Either boil for 5-10 minutes, put it in your dishwasher (on top rack), or wash with anti-bacterial soap and warm water. Do not boil silicone vibrators because you will destroy the vibrator mechanism.

Cleaning porous materials: rubber, vinyl, cyberskin, nylon, and leather

  • Rubber materials: Rubber materials are porous and difficult to clean. In addition, their composition is not always known or may contain phthalates, chemicals which have been shown to be harmful to your health. For these reasons, it is recommended to use condoms with these types of toys.
  • Cyberskin and Vinyl: Cyberskin is soft and porous, often used for dildos. Wash cyberskin and vinyl toys delicately with warm water only. Air dry and powder a small amount with cornstarch to keep them from getting sticky.
  • Nylon: Nylon harnesses and toys can be machine or hand washed with a mild anti-bacterial soap.
  • Leather: Wipe leather products with a damp, soapy cloth or with leather cleaner. Do not soak leather. After cleaning, you may recondition your toy using a leather conditioner. Protect metal parts from tarnish by applying a coating of clear nail polish.

How we clean our sex machines

Our machines are cleaned thoroughly when they are returned to us using a bleach solution followed by treatment with Chemgene HLD4H which is a Medical High Level Disinfectant intended for cleansing and disinfecting of hard surfaces. It is a Bactericidal, Virucidal, Fungicidal and Sporicidal disinfectant. This ensures that our machines stay fresh and clean ready for you.

Fucking Machine Polls

We thought that it would be interesting to create a few Fucking Machine related Polls and let everyone share their opinion on all thing Fucking Machine related. Vote on each poll to see the results so far.

Would You Use A Fucking Machine?

Simple question really and seeing as you are here reading this you must at least be curious about them so what will be your answer to this poll?

{jvotesystem poll=|2|}

Who Are You?

How would you class yourself under the headings shown below? It will be interesting to see the breakdown of our visitors.

{jvotesystem poll=|4|}

What should we call our Fucking Machines?

We're thinking about adding names to our Fucking Machines, you have five votes to distribute and you can add other names if you think they are suitable. What do you think?

{jvotesystem poll=|5|}

About FuckMachineIan

Fucking Machine Fun with the F-Machine Pro, Sybian and VenusThanks for clicking on the URL in my Twitter profile - let me give you a little background information on who I am and what I do.

My real name is indeed Ian and I am the guy behind and the @FuckMachineIan twitter account.

I have long been fascinated by Fucking Machines, this interest is shared by my wife of 20 years Kathy and we have enjoyed many different machines in the past. We came up with the idea of bringing Sex Machine fun to the masses by making it more affordable and so we set up over a year ago.

We offer a very discreet service where a Fucking Machine (The F-machine Pro) or Sybian is delivered to your door under plain cover by a courier. It is then collected again at a later date and returned to us for cleaning and use again. Cleanliness and hygiene is our number one priority and we decided right at the very start to always include new attachments with bookings. These are for the customer to keep as we don't want them back again as we never re-use them - common sense really.

Connect With Me

Hopefully that has piqued your interest enough for you to want to follow @FuckMachineIan

PLesae feel free to add us to your circle on Google Plus +FmachinefunCoUk

My twitter posts are very Fucking Machine centric and I always re-tweet all the Fucking Machine posts that I find so if you want a steady stream of that sort of smut then follow away.....

Porn Websites

Written by

Don't Ignore This New Niche

There has been an explosion in demand for Fucking Machine porn recently with the rise of some big names and lots of attention to this growing niche market. Grab yourself a piece of the action. Our custom F-machines are ideal for your porn shoots for the following reasons:

Help Us To Spread The Word

We mainly rely on word of mouth recommendations of our service to grow our business and appreciate all the help that we can get. If you like what we are offering or know of someone who you think will then spread the word about us. We are proud of our service and are making some really nice friends whilst having a lot of fun.

Models Wanted

Written by

Models Wanted

We are looking for a couple of models to help us brighten up our site a bit. We are looking for someone willing to use one of our machines infront of the camera to illustrate things like our Fucking Machine Positions Guide and other areas of the site.

Buy or Rent a Fucking Machine

Fucking Machines for rent or hire Thank you for visiting our site, if you are here then it means that you have an interest in Fucking Machine Fun and hopefully we can help you out. Whether you are looking to hire or buy a Fucking Machine we can provide sound advice and lots of choices to make your session with one a truly memorable experience.

We are also UK distributors of the amazing SPUNK LUBE and also HOLEPUNCH TOYS.

Have a look around our site and if you have any questions please don't hesitate to ask.

Renting Makes A Lot Of Sense

As Sex Machines are so expensive it makes a lot of sense to rent one before going on to buy one. Why not try before you buy.
Combination Padlocks

Secure Transit Cases

No one, not even the courier knows what is inside our rental sex machine secure transit cases. The good thing about the cases is that you can secure the machine in it in the house away from prying eyes.
Treat Your Partner Or Yourself

Special Occasions

Renting a sex machine is a great way to organise a special evening, do something different from the norm. Our service is great for satisfying your fantasies and ticking something else off your sexual bucket list.
Gender Neutral

Anyone Can Enjoy It

Anyone can enjoy a fucking machine and whether you are on your own or part of a couple they can add an exciting new dimension to your sexual fun and games.